The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Mom said you looked used
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
