It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
