She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
