Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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