the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Randomize
