i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize