we have pet lesbian snakes
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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