i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
