I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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