I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
