I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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