That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize