he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
