Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
