were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
me + whiskey = a bad person
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
My feet surprised me
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
