am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
