She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
