Non-Jews are for practice
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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