are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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