I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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