The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
