you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
