Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
