Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
