If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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