I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
