I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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