when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
