Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
