Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
