'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
