youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
