Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry raylealadee hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(802): View more from Vermont

He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.

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(816): View more from Missouri

he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.

(480): View more from Arizona

I told you I would

(931): View more from Tennessee

I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend

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(614): View more from Ohio

And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"

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(512): View more from Texas

I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5

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(586): View more from Michigan

It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.

(317): View more from Indiana

It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.

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