OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
