Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
