marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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