I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
