Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Less talking, more tequila
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
