Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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