I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
