What a fucking waste of an outfit
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I am one with the molecules
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize