Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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