Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Buhtt sex?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
