We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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