We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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