dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
