Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
she smelled like a LAN party
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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