I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I am naked and annoyed.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
