Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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