but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
