If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
