does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
