Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
