porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
