awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
