Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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