She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
