Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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