Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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