Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
