I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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