question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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