Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
