Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
