I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize