Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
