Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I will pee on everything he values.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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