I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
