what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
