and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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