This girl is more easily done than said...
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
