we're blogging at a bar
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
