what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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