Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
