It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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